You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
