There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
