I love black thongs
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
