apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
