I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
