I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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