do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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