yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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