How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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