idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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