I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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