She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize