From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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