I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You don't make any sense
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