I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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