Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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