And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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