It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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