I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
