That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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