I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
