adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
