so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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