it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
