there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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