Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
