I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
