there's paper in my vomit.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
