eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
