idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
