Sacagawea was the original milf.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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