do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
