i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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