she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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