He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
