Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
