How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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