So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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