we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
