You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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