shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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