I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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