My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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