And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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