thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
