I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
