I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we're so committed to being not committed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
