so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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