Tell her she can't have a vagina
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
