i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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