Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
