You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sarcasm needs its own font
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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