Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
