Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
