You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
